Just Learn to Breathe Again
by Copycat
Summary: Missing scene from Intent. More info inside, the summary contains spoilers.


RATING: T  
CLASSIFICATION: Nikki/Harry, Friendship  
SPOILERS: _Intent_, series 13.  
SUMMARY: Missing scene from _Intent_, takes place near the end, before the last hospital scene, after Harry realises that Rebecca did a runner. Nikki tries to cheer Harry up.  
DISCLAIMER: The BBC owns everything.

I feel like this fic should come with a really long characterisation disclaimer, but instead I'll just say: Let's ignore the fact that I'm not sure I even know who these people are anymore, and join me as I stretch my willing suspension of disbelief to the point of breaking. Because I'm delusional and refuse to accept the fact that they're sinking my ship...

Oh, and I _will_ get back to The Tear Collector at some point. Just not until series 13 is over, probably.

* * *

"Look, I'm really not in the mood for this," Harry said, doing nothing to hide his annoyance as Nikki all but dragged him from the taxi to the entrance to the pub.

"I know," Nikki said indifferently. "But tonight we're getting drunk and you can wallow all you want, and then we'll move on."

He shook his head and caught up with her to hold the door open for her. "I don't need to 'wallow'," he insisted.

"Of course you do," she said patiently, "and once you've had a few pints, I'm sure you'll see that."

"So you want me to get drunk so I can be miserable?" he asked, incredulous, as he scanned the room for a table.

"I just want you to get it out of your system so it won't fester."

He spotted a free table and steered towards it sideways so Nikki would see him rolling his eyes at her. "Fester?"

"Yes," she said firmly. "You're going to be moody and sulky and insist that there's nothing the matter with you, but frankly I can't bear having to walk around on eggshells with what happened to Leo so--" her voice cracked slightly and his resistance crumbled.

She smiled sadly, shaking her head at herself, and sat down across from him at the table he had guided them to. "So tonight we go through all of it. You denying that you're even remotely affected, me being brilliant and making you realise that you are, you crying into your drink before you run off to the loo to be sick." She threw out her arms in triumph. "Ta-dah, heartbreak over."

He snorted, amused. "Wouldn't it be better if I just never realised it?"

"Of course not. Because that's when it festers. And that really isn't healthy," she added sagely.

"And how the hell would you know?"

"I read a book once."

"_A_ book," Harry repeated. "Well, you're practically a counsellor, aren't you?"

She grinned. "Are you admitting you need one?"

He sighed dramatically. "You're buying. Lager, please."

Nikki laughed and got some money from her bag before walking to the bar.

While she waited for the barman to pour the two pints she had ordered, a man walked up to her and started talking to her. Harry saw her turn around to look at the man, a slight frown on her face, which soon transformed into a smile as the man finished his introduction.

She answered him briefly and shook her head, still smiling.

When the barman put two full glasses on the bar in front of Nikki, she moved to hand him the money in her hand, but the man swatted her away and paid for the beers for her.

She laughed and said something to him, which made him pretend she had just shot him in the chest.

She nodded towards the table where Harry was sitting and the man turned to look at him. Their eyes met and Harry smiled at him. The man smiled back somewhat insincerely before turning back to Nikki, saying something to her as he shook his head and rolled his eyes.

Nikki laughed loudly as she walked away from him, his eyes still on her back.

"So," Nikki said as she sat down and placed the beers in front of them. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Global warming," Harry answered immediately and she rolled her eyes at him. "It's an important issue, Nikki, it's not something to be taken lightly."

"No?" she asked, her eyebrows raised. "Then sell your car and your swanky flat and get an eco-friendly house and a bicycle."

He snorted, amused. "Who do you think is going to win this year's Premier League?"

"I don't know and I don't care."

"My money's on Chelsea," Harry said, grinning when she faked a yawn.

"Do you think you'll ever hear from her again?" Nikki asked.

"Chelsea's a football team, not a girl," Harry explained patiently. When she didn't react to his joke he shrugged his shoulders and took a large swig of his beer. "Probably not. She got the insurance money and disappeared."

"What would you do if she did contact you?"

"I don't know," he sighed. "Why?"

She shrugged, watching him intently as he gulped down more of his beer. "I just wondered if you'd thought about it."

He didn't want to tell her that it was pretty much all he had thought about since he had read the reports she had given him. He knew she wouldn't gloat about being right, not about this, but he still didn't want to admit it that she had been.

Rebecca had used him, and he had let her because he had been too caught up in the feeling of someone really wanting him to see what was going on. That it wasn't actually _him_ she wanted.

He downed the rest of his beer and stood up. "Do you want another one?"

Nikki looked at her barely half-empty glass and shook her head. "No, thanks."

"Well, you wanted me to get drunk, didn't you?" he asked her, as if she were responsible for him drinking a pint of lager in ten minutes.

"Yes," she agreed, her voice gentle.

He clenched his fists in frustration as he walked to the bar, realising that even if he didn't agree that this was what he needed, he was behaving exactly the way she expected him to, and maybe even wanted him to, because she thought she knew what was good for him, that she knew what he needed better than he did himself.

He smiled briefly at the barman, exchanging a five pound note for a pint and waving him off, and turned around to walk back to the table. Nikki almost had her back to him, and he could only just make out her hands, playing with a spare coaster as she waited for him to return.

When he sat down it took a moment for her to look up, and when she did her smile was strained.

"What's wrong?"

She shook her head dismissively. "Nothing. I was just thinking about Leo. But we're not here to talk about that."

"We _can_ talk about that," he said slowly. "If you want."

"No," she insisted. "This is about you getting over Rebecca, _I'm_ not the one who's meant to cry."

He laughed shortly. "Oh, I'm not going to cry, so don't get your hopes up."

She smiled teasingly. "Just wait, you'll be a blubbering idiot in an hour."

"As opposed to just an idiot?"

Nikki grinned. "See? You're halfway there already."

He shook his head in mock exasperation and her grin widened even further.

* * *

"Thank you," Harry said suddenly, his hands on the beer mug, spinning his fourth pint around slowly on the coaster.

Nikki grinned but didn't say anything until he looked her in the eye. "I'm scared of ruining the moment by asking what for," she joked.

He grinned back, shaking his head. "Could we make it just a general 'thank you', for everything?"

She nodded sagely. "To save you from ever having to say the words again, you mean."

"To save me from having to list all the things I should be thanking you for. Because then you might realise that actually you _are_ angry with me."

She laughed softly but then turned serious, reaching across the table to take his hand. He let go of his glass and intertwined his fingers with hers. He had been holding her hand so much lately that her soft skin felt familiar to his touch. "I'm not angry with you Harry. I feel bad for you, you've just had your heart broken."

He scoffed, annoyed. "Will you _stop_ going on about my heart?"

Her hand twitched but she didn't pull away. "Will _you_ stop being so angry with _me_ for feelings that I have nothing to do with?" she asked, her voice calm but firm.

Harry grimaced, well aware that he ought to apologise. "If I say I'm sorry, you'll die of shock, won't you?"

She laughed loudly. "You know, I just might."

"Thank you for putting up with me lately. I know I was a bit..." He trailed off, not sure which word best described his behaviour.

Nikki smiled, biting her lip, and he knew she was trying to decide whether or not to share her suggestion. He nodded encouragingly.

"A bit in love," she told him, grinning.

He let go of her hand and dipped his fingers in his beer to flick drops of it in her face. She laughed, putting her hands in front of her face to protect herself.

"A bit insane," he told her, wiping his hand on his trousers.

She shook her head, her smile turning sad. "Don't do that."

"It's only beer, it'll wash off," he said, well-aware that that wasn't what she meant.

She completely ignored his half-joking attempt to avoid the issue. "Don't try to pretend your feelings were something else than what they really were just because it didn't work out the way you hoped."

He leaned back in his seat and sighed, folding his hands behind his head. "I'm not sure I am," he told her, looking down his nose at her. "The way I acted, that wasn't who I am. I don't do things like that."

Nikki shrugged dismissively and even if he knew it meant she wouldn't agree with him, he was happy she didn't know half the things he had done. If there was any way he could prevent it, she was never going to know. Not even if it meant he would win this argument.

"From a scientific perspective, being in love and being insane is basically the same thing," she told him.

"Yes, thank you," he said sarcastically. "I don't need a lecture on brain chemistry."

"Maybe it hit you harder because it's been so long for you," she mused, the corners of her mouth twitching upwards as she tried to suppress a smirk.

"Something you will never be able to relate to, I'm sure," he quipped.

She grinned but didn't answer at first. Then, finally, her face turned serious and she looked down at her hands on the table. "It must be nice, though. Losing yourself that completely in someone else."

"Not really," Harry said flatly and she laughed.

"Are you ready to go?" she asked, looking up at him as he finished his beer.

Harry nodded, relieved that he didn't have to keep drinking until he was sick after all. "I just need the loo."

"Prostatic hyperplasia," Nikki said, grinning. "Old man."

He grinned back, pretending to try to push her off her chair. "Beer," he corrected and walked away.

When he came up the stairs a few minutes later, the man who had approached Nikki by the bar earlier had returned, and was sitting in Harry's seat across from Nikki, who was already wearing her coat. Harry leaned against the bannister, arms crossed in front of his chest, and watched the stranger hitting on his friend.

He was telling a story and Nikki was clearly amused by it. She was watching him with a smile on her face, absent-mindedly playing with a strand of her hair.

The man finished his story, said something more and nodded in encouragement. Nikki grinned and shook her head at him.

He nodded more vigorously, which made Nikki laugh and shrug her shoulders as if to say she didn't care. The man got what looked like a business card and a pen out of his pocket, scribbled something on the back of the card, and pushed it carefully across the table to Nikki, who picked it up and looked at it.

She read something out loud and the man nodded, throwing out his arms in a self-deprecating gesture.

Nikki nodded seriously but then grinned before looking around and spotting Harry. The man followed her gaze and stood up quickly when he realised that they were being watched. Harry couldn't help but be amused by the guilty look on his face.

Nikki stood up as well, her attention back on the man, who was saying his goodbyes. He took her hand and kissed it, his lips lingering on her skin for several long seconds.

When Nikki smiled sweetly at the man and said goodnight without making any effort to pull her hand away, Harry felt his stomach churn and he frowned.

There was absolutely no reason why he should be bothered by another man kissing Nikki. At least not when _she_ didn't seem to mind in the slightest.

The man walked away, throwing a brief apologetic glance in Harry's direction, and Harry tried to shake off the uncomfortable feeling he suddenly had as he walked over to Nikki.

She was buttoning up her coat, the glossy business card wedged between two fingers. Harry put on his own coat, glancing at the card but not saying anything.

Nikki raised her eyebrows in question, indicating the door with a nod of her head, and Harry waved a hand for her to walk out ahead of him. He resisted the urge to look around and check if they were being watched.

Once outside Nikki stopped briefly as if waiting for Harry to catch up with her, but as the door closed behind him he saw her discreetly drop the business card from her hand into the bin that had been set up for the smokers who needed to get rid of their cigarette buds.

He frowned, determined not to feel relieved, but he couldn't help but smile when Nikki leaned closer to him, shivering slightly in the chilly night air. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close.

She snuggled into him and snaked her arms around his waist. "Are you feeling better?" she asked, her head shifting slightly against his chest as she tried to look up at him.

"Yes," he said, his eyes shifting to the bin and then back to the top of her head.

"Good," she said contentedly. "Do you want to come with me to visit Leo tomorrow?"

"Of course," he agreed easily.

"Good," she repeated, her arms tightening in a hug around him. "And you're welcome, by the way. For everything."

_End_


End file.
